24.6 C
May 25, 2020
Satire & Sarcasm

If you befriend a girl and get her number, how long after should you call her, and still make a score?

Three days.

Because, THREE is the biblical number.

Jesus waited THREE days to come back to life.

If He had waited only ONE day, a lot of people wouldn’t even have heard he died.

They’d be all, “Hey, Jesus, what up?” and Jesus would probably be like, “What up? I DIED yesterday!” and they’d be all, “Uhh, you look pretty alive to me, dude….”

And then Jesus would have to explain how He was resurrected, and how it was all a miracle, and the dude’d like, “Uhh okay, whatever you say, bro…”

Also Read: http://kuchorea.com/the-bizarre-execution-of-general-tanganyika-one-of-mau-maus-most-iconic-generals/

And he’s not gonna come back on a SATURDAY.

Everybody’s busy, doing chores. Working in the yard, cleaning the shed, trimming the beard.

No, he waited the perfect number of days, THREE.

Plus, it’s a SUNDAY, so everyone’s already in church already, and everyone’s in there like, “Oh no, Jesus is DEAD”, and then BAM!

He bursts in the backdoor, running up the aisle, everyone’s totally psyched, and FYI, that’s when he invented the High-Five.

That’s why we wait THREE days to call a woman, because that’s how long Jesus wants us to wait.

True story.

In the case of the girl, if you only wait ONE day, you come off as pretty desperate. Or, a scavenging carnivore.

Wait TWO days? Dude, you ain’t got some life? Errands to run? Are you in the throes of a stinging dry spell?

THREE days. Perfect.

A discerning girl will have put you off her mind. But, the call jolts her mind alive, with a throng of questions: Hey didn’t call me back immediately, why? This dude must be working, and resourceful – certainly, not a fisi, most of those call within an hour.

Perhaps, I can give him a chance.

The game’s on!

Also Read: http://kuchorea.com/the-easiest-way-to-kiss-a-million-dollars-goodbye-enlighten-the-dumb-donor/

*Special thanks to Barney Stinson.

*Images: Posed by model (Bessy Murando).


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