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September 23, 2020
Family Theories

The depressing after-stories and endless layers of pain that suicide serves……and how to read the signs.

I refuse to mourn suicide. I refuse to celebrate cowardice, because choosing to give up is cowardice. And I certainly abhor selfish people – because that’s selfishness – choosing to decide it’s all about you. To commit suicide, you choose to ignore all the others that got feelings for you.

More heartbreaking, still, is the whole lot that depend on you and shows you don’t care at all how broken your selfish decision will leave them.

And there’s the stigma. It’s never easy for anyone to explain the death of a special someone they lost. There’s the fidgeting, and dancing around the issue of their death. There’s no comfort like one would feel when an aged grandparent passes on peacefully in their sleep, in their own bed.

Fridah Makena, a student in Meru National Polytechnic commited suicide in March 2019 (file image)
Fridah Makena, a student in Meru National Polytechnic commited suicide in March 2019 (file image)

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“….For some weird reason, Grandma knew she had little time left, and that’s why she called all her grandkids over for Xmas….. I mean, she even gave Mwende her beads…”

That kind of departure doesn’t give a sense to the Rest in Peace tag we like to afford the dead.

The other side of suicide has depressing after-stories.

“….What the fuck, Mike! We had mad, mad fun watching Liverpool lose its un-beaten run to Watford – such underdogs! You bought Jameson’s, bro, is that how farewell tastes?”

Social media and depression are strange bedfellows. A disturbing trend has become the norm, hardly shocking nowadays.

A girl barely in her teens gets her first crush, and then a subsequent break up. She turns to social media and uploads photos of happier days with her boyfriend. She forgets the virtual family she enjoys has no loyalty – and forgets to speak to her real family. She reveals her pain to strangers, and since different people live on different parts of the sphere – to different levels of emotional toning – she gets cyber bullied….

What follows is shocking to her immediate family.

“She seemed so happy aki…”

“I thought she was studying for her mocks in her room, keeping away from her partying friends……”

“Why didn’t she talk to us…?”

Battling depression, that’s what.

She didn’t talk to us, neither did we to her – for we too are busy roasting others on their walls, and following threads.

It’s really ironic, too, that most people draw attention to themselves when they would no longer need it, through suicide. And what happened to good old ‘fighting it out’? Lots of people have all sorts of problems, but they find strength and hope – from the people around them, from inspiration by other people fighting bigger problems.

A student at South Eastern University - Kitui, sadly passed on in March 2019
A student at South Eastern University – Kitui, sadly passed on in March 2019

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                              “When people kill themselves, they think they are ending the pain,

                               But all they are doing is passing it on to those they left behind”

                              Jeannette Walls.

The news of a suicide breaks, there’s the cadre that seems all ready to declare, to all and sundry:

“I can never commit suicide. I don’t care how hard shit turns out – I’d rather start walking East and keep going…..”

That’s the group to watch. This, perhaps, is their cry for help. That statement has a veiled admission that indeed they’ve thought of the suicide path – but, still doesn’t appeal. How long can one be strong? Who knows just hard shit turns out?

Take heart, talk to someone.

Do not ignore the slightest, odd changes in someone in your circle. Learn to recognize depression.

Save a life.

Stay woke.

Also Read: http://kuchorea.com/dj-bunduki-after-debuting-iconic-corporate-reggae-themed-thursdays-to-sanitize-the-genre-did-you-know-the-deck-maestro-found-a-charity-foundation/

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